I love the desert. I love to feel the heat soak into my bones like a lizard laying on a sunbathed rock in 100 degree weather. I love getting into a hot car after having been inside a place where the A/C is ridiculously overcompensating for the outside weather. I love the distinct mountains bordering all sides of Tucson letting the directionally challenged know which way we're headed, and yet still feeling as though you can see endlessly in any direction. I love the unique beauty of life struggling to grow and adapt in a dry land that seems destined for death. I love that cactus viciously defends the life inside that has managed to persevere. The desert is a part of who I am, and the place I feel most at home.

Ill never look at butterflies the same

Scene: Kyla runs up to me with her toy butterfly and pretends to make her butterfly eat me

Me: "Butterflies dont eat people"
Elliot: "What do they eat?"
Me: "maybe little bugs"
Elliot: "Baby bugs should stay with their mommies so they dont get eaten by butterflies"
Me: "Well...I didn't say baby bugs - just little ones... or maybe they just eat leaves"
Elliot: "Butterflies are going to die"
Me: "Why do you say that?"
Elliot: "They should die because they eat babies"
Me: "They don't eat babies. Forget what i said about little bugs - they eat leaves!"
Kyla: (runs around room with her buttterfly held high) "I eat babies! I eat babies!"
Elliot: (running after Kyla)  "Die Butterfly! Die!"

Fight Like A Warrior Poet

Braveheart is probably still my favorite movie of all time. I definitely love the portrayal of William Wallace in all his masculine, uncompromising glory. “Uncompromising men are easy to admire.” But the part that gets me the most about this movie is not the part that’s about the flawless hero who sacrifices all with unwavering strength and principles - “FREEEEEDOM!” (Yes that part is pretty stinkin inspiring though.) The beauty of the story is in the portrayal of Robert the Bruce.

He starts out as a fairly average individual following the expected course of life that’s been set up for him. But he is confronted with greatness. He recognizes it for what it is and is inspired. He wrestles with it – with expectations, peer pressure, physical ramifications.
He fails.
The part of the movie that resonates with me deep inside is when Robert the Bruce goes moping to his father about how rotten he feels after giving into the pressures of what is expected of him. His father tries to convince him “all men betray – all men lose heart..” To which he screams:

“I don’t want to lose heart!”
“I want to believe…. I will never be on the wrong side again.”

The issues we deal with in society here and now are different than Ireland in the 1300’s. But its a familiar cry of heart. Life will try to pummel your heart into silence. And it’s tempting to go there. To give in. To shut down. To accept it as the way it is. But is that a life worth living? I feel like that dialogue between Robert and his father is one that happens within myself. Pragmatism vs. heart.
*shakes fist at self* I don’t want to lose heart!
It’s not pretty. Even after he changed course, Robert still got used and screwed over. He still had to deal with the consequences of his previous mistakes.
But eventually he kicks King Edward’s butt.

Scots, wha hae wi Wallace bled,
Scots, wham Bruce has aften led,
Welcome to your gory bed,
Or to victorie!    
By Oppression's woes and pains!
By your Sons in servile chains!
We will drain our dearest veins,
But they shall be free!
Lay the proud Usurpers low!
Tyrants fall in ev'ry foe!
Liberty's in ev'ry blow! -
Let us do — or die!
-          Robert Burns 

Battles come in all shapes and sizes. Don't lose heart. 

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